Evanescence

Photo courtesy of faridfoto

• I've stopped flipping through the pictures of us together.
• I've stopped reminiscing of our passionate trysts.
• I don't feel awkward anymore going to places that reminded me of us.
• I don't stay away from our common friends anymore.
• I don't listen to Flo Rida and Chris Brown as intently as before.
• I don't care to know what papillomavirus does to humans anymore.
• I've stopped checking if you are online.
• I've stopped worrying if you'd be safe when you are travelling.
• I don't miss you as much anymore.
  
  I've stopped.
  
  I don't.

Friends of Any Kind

Photo courtesy of faridfoto

(Subjects in the above photo has no relevance to the topic of the post)

I have weird friends. I mean I have queer friends. Really, not weird queer, but queer queer.

M has been dating S for more than a year now. M wears slacks and shirts and hair cropped short. S is petite and sweet. Both are females. E has just broken up with her boyfriend of 4 years and is now seriously seeing H. H works in a bank and wears Clark-Kent-style glasses. Oh, H is also a female. B and W shares a condo in the city. B is an established architect and W works for a fashion house. The loveliest couple. Both are male.

Whatever orientation they may sway towards, I am not one to judge nor should anyone past judgement. That prerogative is not ours.

No matter how queer they are, they are my bestest of friends.

Shouldn't friends support each other?

My Angel

Photo courtesy of faridfoto

Oh where are you my angel

When will you come and rescue me

From the depth of my despair............?

God's Right

Photo courtesy of faridfoto

When you make a vow to marry someone, you also make a promise to God to hold your spouse in trust for Him. We are ultimately His creations and we all belong to Him. I find this posting by a fellow blogger interesting. Read on at http://daphneiking.blogspot.com/2009/11/leave-it-to-god.html?showComment=1258566763933_AIe9_BGcwYy2aOKJxMePNndsGX5mkht_prlbceBMCDLdVud5Z-Fb0EH4vdI5mnbte0LLUBZzCzFRU2e3ynOSZQQp4thkGuCLkr9J2e4W88sUmwAoXxc-_9vc_YsuTPpkCZIJMhrUWzClArnCFIb8Dv-fapT14x4EJIf74utTob3Afn9adlDDcNw0zS26EeORpp3KMAp9m6T7bg1X1ut-fZynP5POXMzsnLL6csm1FClbskaR2Ki7Gko#c8777693739615831970

My Kryptonite

Photo courtesy of faridfoto

• Slit-eyed pretty faces.
• That scent right after rain cools a hot tarmac.
• Freshly-cut grass. Take a deep breath and smell the freshness.
• Stargazer lillies (and perhaps white madonnas too).
• Times Square at dusk after rain. The neon reflections on the wet street is a sight to behold.
• Prominent posteriors (Fat bottom girls you make the rocking world go round yeah.....)
• A mic, lyrics and a loud minus-one.
• Sharing a brolly with a warm-body in the rain.
• A perfectly placed mole.
• An excellent communicator.
• The magical hues during sunrise at the east coast.
• Piping hot pizza in Milan.
• VWs. Not that other German, please.
• Riverdance!!
• Perfume-counter girls dressed in white uniforms.
• Fluffy down-feathered pillows at Mulia, Jakarta.
• Gadgets and electronic toys. (Will someone get me a Segway for my birthday please....)
• Cats.
• Gigi Leung and Takeshi Kaneshiro romantic movies.
• Strawberry anything.
  

Losing one's shoes

Photo courtesy of faridfoto

Last night, over a cup of milk tea, BH and I concluded that in a person's life, there will be at least once, that a person will be at his/her lowest point.

Someone I know has been out of a job for the last 10 months. Last month, a friend discovered that she was pregnant. She was not married and a muslim. She thought about ending her life. Yet another friend came home one night after work, only to find his house empty. His wife had taken the children and left him for another man. Tonight, a friend who is brilliant at his job, found out that he is about to lose it due to internal office politics.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people and strangely, good things happen to bad people. We wonder why.

My dad once told me that God test His creations in various ways and in varying degrees of hardship. It is a matter of faith and belief.

If you have it good all along, don't think you are not being tested. Think again. You should be thankful to Him for your good fortune. This is His way of testing you. Don't you forget Him.

So if you've lost your shoes, keep running. Sooner or later, with some effort, you will get back in stride. Shoes or no shoes.

The Search

Photo courtesy of faridfoto

Sometimes we find a certain emptiness in our lives. Despite the well-paying job, the cosy penthouse in the city, the lovingly devoted spouse, the beautiful children and the fancy sports convertible, we continue to search for a missing something. So much so, all the luxuries in life becomes meaningless and ennui.

Unfortunately, in our search for that missing something, we make decisions and behave in ways that may hurt the people around us, especially the ones that we love. We become impertinent, irresponsible and reprehensible. Invariably, we hurt ourselves in the process.

Strangely, we keep doing the same over and over again.

For years I have been searching for that missing something in my life. In my quest to fill that void, I have hurt countless people, including myself.

I am sorry.

I am even more sorry for I know, I will never stop searching for that missing something.

Walking our paths

Photo courtesy of faridfoto

There are moments in our lives where if we had made a different decision or taken the other alternative, our lives would have significantly changed as we know it today. It could be saying 'no' to a marriage proposal, agreeing to take that other job, not going through that abortion or even something as mundane as procrastinating changing the car tyres as a heavy storm looms.

Often times we blame things that happen to us on fate and the will of God. There is nothing we can do about it.

We often forget that as human beings, God has given us the necessary intelligence, will-power and autonomy to make our own decisions and chart and walk our own paths.

We are what we make ourselves to be. We live the life we chose to live. We lament and we rejoice at the choices we make ourselves. The choices and decisions are nevertheless ours.

Forget 'if only', we chose to walk our own paths......